Today I am going to sit down and speak to you guys about my mental health. I have spoken about my mental health and struggles before. I feel for those of you that know about my struggles, this may be quite boring. The reason why I want to speak about this again is to try and reach new people.
I have suffered with my mental health for many years and I like to talk about it. I do not want there to be a stigma and because of that, we need to talk. So I thought that today, I would give you a catch-up on my mental health. Also shed some light on where I am at today, the help that I get and how I am moving forward.
The depth of my mental health.
Firstly, in this catch up on my mental health, I want to be honest and open. I have always suffered with OCD, I was diagnosed at 14. It was hard for me, but something that I have learnt somewhat to live with. As the years have gone on, I have had times of immense lows. As a symptom of my OCD, I can feel incredible anxiety and that often leads directly into depression. Because this happens infrequently, I do not take medication because 95% of the time I am ok managing it. Then, that other 5% of the time, it feels like my life is coming to an end and there is nothing to live for. The lows that I have felt are terrifying and I am always scared in anticipation for the next time it may happen.
The help I got for my mental health.
Generally speaking, when I am in a time of being ‘ok’ I have talking therapy. I have somebody that I am very comfortable with and I speak to them every two weeks. At times, I really do feel like it is unnecessary, but I need to keep up that dialogue. I need to continue opening up to somebody in a professional capacity. This means that when I am in that scary 5%, I know the drill. I know how to speak to somebody and the questions she is going to ask. There was a time in early 2020 when I did have to rely on medication to get me out of my lowest low, and it helped. I had only used anti-depressants once before and I didn’t think that they were effective. The second time, I needed them.
The things I do day to day.
As I mentioned above, much of the time, around 95% of the time, I am fine, I feel like I am a well-functioning person and I feel ‘normal’. However as much as I say that, I do have to do certain things in order to keep me on track. For example, with my OCD, I need to make lists. I have a list or spreadsheet for just about everything in my life. For general day to day things, I use Microsoft To Do. In here, I set all of the reoccurring tasks which I do on set days throughout the week/month/year. Then, for other things that I want to do/buy/remember I have a spreadsheet. Without these, I feel like I have a thousand things whirling around my head and without capturing them in this way, I lose the ability to function normally.
Why I encourage conversation.
For me and dealing with my mental health, conversation is key. Not only do I respond well to talking therapy. It is so important. I hope that by me talking, others may realise they are not alone. I can remember as a teenager, I was starting to have these thoughts and being unable to control my thoughts. Honestly, I thought that I was the only person in the world who thought this way. If there was somebody out there who let me know that this is a condition and there is not something wrong with me, I would have felt better. I honestly needed to know that there were others like me. Plus, that there was a way to get through it and deal with it.
I hope you liked reading this catch up on my mental health. I know that for most people, this is something that they do not like to speak about. For me, I want to help people out there. There have been times in my life where I felt completely alone. I felt lost in my own thoughts and lower than I ever have in my life. I want people to know that there is always somebody to speak to. There is always somebody who can help you. If you do feel like you need help, please click here and visit the Mind website. Mind is a charity that has helped me more than you will ever know. My inbox is always open if you would like to discuss this in a more private space. If not, please leave me a comment below and let’s open the dialogue about mental health.