Sunday, 14 February 2021

Past Relationships - What I Learnt


I am 27 in a couple of weeks and you don’t get to be as old as me without having a couple of failed relationships along the way. There will be the odd exception to the rule where you may still be blissfully happy with your girlfriend/boyfriend that you have been with since you were 14, but that certainly is not the case for all of us. It has taken quite some time for me to get to this stage in my life, but now I look back on each of the failed relationships as a lesson, no matter how hard it was to learn at the time. That is why I thought that I would sit down and speak to you guys today about what I have learnt from being a little unlucky in love before meeting my now husband.


Do not turn into their mother. I had to mention this first because I believe that this can happen in every couple, but somebody always seems to take on the mothering role. I no longer for any man, even my husband who I love more than life itself, nag at him to do things, cook every mean through the day, be expected to do the washing, do the housework on my own. Our marriage is a partnership built on an even playing field and I wish I had been more forceful with this in the past!


Do not be walked all over. I have been walked all over many times in my life. That may be making an assumption that I am cooking tea and doing the housework, to picking up an dropping off at the pub, to fitting in with their plans all of the time. The list really can go on, but I got to a point where I just decided that enough was enough and I was not going to do it any longer. I do not allow my husband to expect anything of me and I am very much my own person who does not live to serve him.


Do not accept anything other than happiness. With my ex which I was with for many years before meeting my now husband, he was just a grumpy arse. When we first got together, he was the life and the soul and we were always doing things to make each other happy and then one day it was literally like a light had been switched and all of that was done. He treated me coldly and that is now that you need in your everyday life, you should be happy and smiling every single day!


Do not settle for being ignored. The old hard to get thing is horrible and completely unnecessary. I can remember somebody that I was talking to stringing me along for months and we were meeting up and texting constantly, then he just ghosted me out of nowhere. I can actually remember seeing this one douche bag years later and he tried to approach me to hit on me and you should have heard the vulgarities that came out of my mouth. I was as far from a lady as you could possibly be at this point.


Do not be a last resort. This has happened a couple of times to me in my past relationships and that is being their final resort. They would spend time with me, if they didn’t get a better offer from their friends. It is a horrible feeling at the time, and I allowed myself for this to happen to me for far too long. I am not saying that I am the only person that they should talk to, but I should be their top priority and the person that they always want to be with, but occasionally go out separately!


I hope that you guys liked this blog post. It is a little different for me to write about, but something important. I know that when we are going through a breakup and something that is painful to us, it can be hard to see the lesson in it, but I guess that is something that comes with age. As we grow older, we can learn to let go of the little things and the more trivial things to allow us to move on and grow from our experiences. Make sure to leave me a comment and let me know if there is anything that you have learnt from past relationships and if you think it is worth us knowing about it too!


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