Tuesday, 5 January 2021

How I Learnt To Like Myself

 


For many years during my early twenties there was many years of absolute self-loathing. I cannot exactly remember when this period started and when I slipped into these negative thoughts, but I can almost remember like it was yesterday the moment that I snapped out of it. From time to time during our lives, we will all get anxiety and I am sure that in some way or another there will be a form of self-loathing associated with that. I thought that for today’s blog post I would bare all and share with you guys some of the things that I most certainly did not like about myself and how I came to actually like myself and turn a corner in my life.


I guess for me, the moment in my life came when I realised that I was waking up unhappy in a morning. Nothing was even happening to me and I was rolling out of the bed with negative thoughts in my mind. I was 100% without a doubt a pessimist and to tell you guys the truth, it was exhausting. From that moment on that day, I realised that I had to make a change. I got into work super early that day and whilst I was alone in the empty office I grabbed my notepad and pen and I made a list of all of the negative things about me and then I made a note alongside on how I could rectify that and the changes that I would have to make and I thought that I would share that with you today.


You are not your past decisions. Over the years, just like many people out there, I have made countless decisions in my life that I look back on and cringe inwardly. As I have gotten older I have come to the realisation that I am not defined by my past decisions and that I can move onwards and upwards and continue to grow as a person. It may sound cliché, but incredibly true, every failure is a lesson. Moving on and letting go of them old negative thoughts helped me to feel more positive about myself and my outlook.


You are not defined by your weight. For much of my life I was painfully underweight, then after a battle with eating disorders I gained weight to a point where I was not happy. For many years of my life I feel like I have been ruled by a number on the scale and the sad thing is that I really feel like over the years, people have been so incredibly vocal about my weight and it is just an awful feeling. I am not the happiest that I have ever been, but I will never again let the number on the scale define who I am.


It is ok to cut out toxic friendships. Chances are that at some point in our lives we will sit back and realise that we have friendships in our life that are more hard work than they are anything positive for us. I realised that I had friends that only wanted to talk about themselves and whenever I was going through anything they were not there and didn’t want to know. As hard as it can be to walk away from some of these people, especially if they have been in your life for a long time, it is good for growth to cut them out. This made me so much happier and more positive!


Stop feeling lazy and do something. I feel like realistically I am half human, half sloth. I find that walking is an effort and I don’t see the point, exercise is simply a means to an end that I will dodge at every single opportunity and I just love to be laid/sat down. As good as it feels to veg out, it makes me feel incredibly lazy and sluggish. I now try and do something for at least 30 minutes a day and even though it may not be doing anything for my overall health, it helps me headspace and allows me to cut myself a little slack when I want an extra 10 minutes in bed!


Accept your hardships and move past. I am a very emotive person and I feel like hell of a lot of the time I really kick myself for it. I can think that it is quite weak of me to have a day where I am under the weather because of the things that I have going on in my life. I now try and cut myself a little slack, I allow myself to feel and process my emotions and then I try to pull myself back up and move past them and get on with my day. It seems to be working well for me so far!


I think that I have shared enough personal things for one blog posts, and I may share a little more in the future. The reason why I wanted to write this post is because there will no doubt be a time in your life where you don’t exactly love yourself and you are not happy with where you are at in life, but the only person who can make a positive change is you. Become the person that you want to be, do the things that you want to do and forget about the past and your past decisions. Onwards and upwards at all times with a positive outlook and buckets of optimism!

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