Friday, 1 January 2021

Am I Glad I Changed My Name?


 


For those of you guys that do not know, back in September of 2019, I got married to my long-term partner Liam. We had been together for donkeys years and in the end we decided that we loved one another, we were committed to one another even though neither of us had dreamed of being married one day, we wanted to make that public commitment to one another and tie the knot. Our wedding was individual to say that least as we went for a ceremony that was super small with only 10 people in attendance and then we had a huge party, which was as far away from a wedding reception as you could possibly get.

 

Even though pretty much every single aspect of our wedding was veering as far from tradition as possible, one thing that I was pretty certain on was that I wanted to take my new husbands name. I think that by most standards, in this day and age it is quite an old fashioned thing to take your husband’s name, and I have no idea why, but in my head I was completely adamant that I wanted to take his name and I thought that for today’s blog post I would let you guys know why I made that decision and if I am happy almost two years later that I made the change.

 

I guess the first thing to touch on is my reasoning for wanting to change my name and it was really for a new start. When our wedding came about both my husband and I were making many positive changes in our life. To change my name just seemed like the perfect thing to do in order to set in all of the changes and move onto much happier times. There was a small part of me that did pop into my head that if we were ever to have children we would all have the same name, but honestly in this day and age I don’t think that matters at all, it was just a case of making another positive change.

 

Straight after the wedding, it was super exciting whenever anybody would call me by my last night. I think for months after when I was at work people would constantly call me by my last name and it was just an exciting time because it was so new and special that it linked me with my husband. Over time, it just became the new normal and that special edge seemed to slip away and then it became very apparent my old name had literally disappeared, which was just a bizarre feeling for me and something that even today, I really struggle with.

 

I guess that the thing for me is that I have such a connection to my maiden name. My family is absolutely everything to me and in the area where I live many people know of my family and even more people have at least heard of the name. I guess that in changing my name it felt like I had cut myself out of the family, even though I had 100% hadn’t, I kind of felt like I wasn’t one of them anymore and I found it quite upsetting. I never thought that I would feel this way because a name is just a word, but it is more than that, to me it is a deep family connection and it has felt very strange ever since I changed my name.

 

The other thing that really sticks in my head is that I am the youngest female in my family that had my maiden name. Because we have all got married and changed our names, that surname will not be passed down to the next generation and that is a real stickler for me. I think that my family has been so much, and our family name has stretched so far back for it to just stop with me. I wonder if I should have hyphenated my name and then I could have passed that down to any potential children that I may have in order to keep the name going.

 

I know that so many people out there will find this blog post a little silly because it is only a name and I completely understand that. I adore that I have the same surname as my husband, it makes me feel like we have started our own family and it makes me swell with pride that we will one day have a family of our own to carry on that name. But there is a pang of guilt within me that makes me feel like I have turned my back on my family and ditched the old name.

 

Let me know in the comments down below what you think. Have you changed your name? Did it make you feel any kind of way? Or would you change your name in the future?

  

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