Sunday, 20 December 2020

Looking Back On My School Years




I thought that for today’s blog post I would do something a little different and have a heart to heart about my schooling years and what I thought of them. Even though that now I am a nearly 30 year old woman and it feels like I left school almost an eternity ago, I still had a shitty time whilst I was there and I can remember the feeling that the days were just dragging on and I would never escape that place. I think that even though we want to teach people to be positive and realise that one day you will be far away and it will be nothing but a distant memory, we also need to acknowledge that while you are going through it, it is awful and we need to have a chat about that too.

 

I feel lucky that during my schooling years, I did have an amazing group of friends. We seemed to gel at a really young age, and I stuck with them same people all the way through my education. I was never bullied as much, especially not in the way of name calling or anything physical, but what I went through was certainly not fair. Because I was fast tracked through school because of my intellect, people my own age hated me for been a ‘geek’ and the older kids hated the fact that there was a little ‘kid’ in their class that was clever than them. It was only made worse when I passed my GCSEs at age 13 and I then had to go to class with the college kids. I feel like I was very gifted with my intellect, but it made me kiss goodbye to may form of normal schooling interactions.

 

As much as I do not like to dwell on the past because I really do not believe that it can do you any good moving forward, I do think that it is important to acknowledge where you have been and what you have overcome. I by no means had the worse time in school and I know that in comparison to what some kids go through with regards to bullying is just absolutely horrendous, I had it pretty mild, but that does not mean that it was a bad time for me. This was the time that my anxiety kicked off and I would dread getting on the school bus to travel into school every day because I knew the kind of looks that I would be getting and the whispers that I would be the cause for. I can remember going into the high year classes and sweating that much my sweater was soaked to my skin.

 

The reason why I wanted to write this post is just in case there is anybody out there going through something similar. I think that you have to be a very lucky individual to fly through your schooling years without any qualms or problems. It may be that you struggle in school and you are trying to get better marks, it may be that you are not as social as other people and being surrounded by people makes you bad with your nerves or it could be that you are being bullied by a bunch of arseholes. Your time in school will come to an end one day and even if it feels like it is a million miles away while you are living through it, it will come to an end and you can kiss goodbye to that part of your life.

 

These things are thrown at us to test us and make us into better people. I now know that my intellect is nothing but a positive, but it took me many years to finally come to that realisation after trying to play it down for me many years in order to fit in with the crowd. Those things that make you different are the things that people will appreciate you for as you get older and you will find the crowd that you fit in with and a group of friends that allow you to flourish. Just think of everything as a lesson and make sure that if you ever need to speak to somebody there are people out there that are able to help you through this.

 

School can suck, just like it did for me, but be sure to make the most out of it. Get your head down work hard and then move past it.

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