I wish that I had a pound for every time somebody asked me when I am going to have a baby. Honestly, I would not need to work full time or write blog posts in an evening. I have no idea what happened but as soon as my husband and I got married and we exchanged rings. This is the only question that people ever ask us. To begin with, we just brushed it off and rolled our eyes. The longer that it goes on, the more it just fucking annoys me.
Honestly, I can remember being stood at our wedding reception. One of our aunties came up to us and asked if by our first anniversary there the pitter-patter of tiny feet on the floor would be. I honestly think that my jaw hit the floor. I didn’t want to act like the true bitch that I really am. Especially on my own wedding day. I just brushed it off and tried to move on. Since that moment, we have had the question asked by family, colleague, friends and pretty much everybody that we meet when they find out that we have tied the knot.
The truth is that I do not know if I can have children.
I do not ovulate. I may have two periods a year. Unplanned and out of the blue when they hit. I am not able to track them in anyway. This would make conceiving incredibly difficult. At this moment in our life, we are not ready to start a family. We are not trying. But, should we attempt to start our own family, we know that it will be a very difficult process. I only have around a 5% chance of ever conceiving naturally. There is no way to track and monitor if I am ovulating.
My defence mechanism has always been acting like I do not want children at all. I got this news that I may never conceive when I was just 19, so ignorance was bliss and I didn’t think that much of it. Then over the years my now-husband and I made peace with the idea that it may never happen for us, but obviously as we get older and our family and friends of a similar age are starting their own families, there are maternal pangs within me that long for that, not necessarily right now, but to be a mother at some point.
But then I get bloody Great Aunt Janet coming up to me while I am holding my niece to let me know that I will make a wonderful mother and she can tell that it will happen soon, I could honestly drop-kick her.
I don’t want to write a blog post just moaning because I truly do know that people probably only have the best of intentions and because I have never really let my fertility issues public knowledge to those in my circle I cannot expect them to be sympathetic. But I just honestly do not think that in this day and age that we should be asking people the baby question anymore because there are so many reasons why a couple are not having a baby whether it is via their own choice or if it is out of their hands.
Learn more about me and some of the things that I have stopped apologising for here. Make sure to leave me a comment down below. Let me know if you have ever received the baby question and how you answer!